[ She can't help it, she laughs. Never has an answer been so thoroughly specific and yet so utterly useless as an answer to a very serious and vulnerable question. ]
[ So she sniffles and turns back toward him, wiping at her face. ]
You get points for making me laugh, at least. No one else managed that.
What? Really? [ She is nothing but confused. Most of her life is spent either endeavoring not to cry or trying to stop crying because other people are uncomfortable. ]
Yeah, a little. It makes a lot of people pretty uncomfortable. [ Especially since she sucks at accepting comfort about stuff that's her own fault, which is everything. ]
You're not bothered by much, are you? I knew that already, but it hits differently when you can watch that memory and not throw me out of here, or tell me it's fine if I cry.
You may not think it's anything special to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but I do. It's not just anyone who can give everyone a chance, even someone who's done something as awful as I have. I'll try not to disappoint you. [ It's hard to promise that, so she doesn't. ]
I'm still up for doing this again if you are, but if you need to think about it I understand. [ And assume it's a no, because he's not the only one who assumes people will reject him until proven otherwise. ]
[ That 'if' bothers her greatly, but she's not going to make a thing of it. She hates it when people try to talk her out of hating herself, so she should probably keep that talk to a minimum. With her, actions speak louder anyway. ]
Good, I'll pester you soon then. [ see, her language about herself sucks too, only her need to be with people edges it out ] If you'd be willing, I sometimes need people to stay with me in my dorm for a night. This place and its stupid rules. When HSS fills up again Doctor can handle that particular burden, but that might be a while. [ lol ]
I should probably tell you to bring some food for my unitmates, Doodle makes a thing about it. I'll fight him on it if you forget, though. [ She is itching for a fight about that sign, but she'd rather have it over someone who's a little less overly eager to please everyone and would insist it's fine to be treated like a delivery boy. ] You're welcome anytime, by the way, everyone else is really sweet.
But speaking of Doctor, I need to get going. He's buying a memory and I should be there in case it doesn't go well. [ You know, standard couple stuff. ]
Kiss me goodbye, hm? A good one, if you please. [ She absolutely is not sure he knows what "good" means here but even so. ] Then I'll be out of your hair.
Don't worry about it, I'd win that argument. [ Doodle's a weakling, and even if he wasn't she'd just try enlisting Dia to ask nicely. ]
...If you wanted the blanket, ask next time okay? I don't get cold or anything and I don't want you to be uncomfortable. [ It felt weird to show a mass murder without covering up a little but there were other options, she'd rather put the corset back on than have him unhappy. ]
[ Mrr, she sits down on the edge of the bed as she yanks her corset strings tight and ties them off. ]
Can I get you anything before I go? I hope I didn't take too much blood...
[ Her guilt swells until it's nearly suffocating, how could she be so selfish and stupid? When will she learn that the joy she takes in biting is at the expense of others? ]
Tell me what you need. [ Her words are trying to be firm, to make this an order. ]
Like with the scars, I expect you to tell me if I ever do anything to make you unwell. But -- [ she stands up with enough of a smile to make clear she's not upset ] I'll trust that you'd mention if you needed something. [ Also she's late, oops ]
I'll see you soon then, hm? [ And making her way to the door slowly enough to hear his answer before she vanishes through it, she can let herself out easily enough. ]
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Re: Day 460, evening
[ So she sniffles and turns back toward him, wiping at her face. ]
You get points for making me laugh, at least. No one else managed that.
Re: Day 460, evening
[He's garbage, Aliza!!]
Re: Day 460, evening
Relax, I'm not upset. You did fine, and thank you for being honest.
You're also the first one to have this conversation with me without my clothes on, by the way.
Re: Day 460, evening
Re: Day 460, evening
That's your call, I'm not the one who has to look at me.
-- But really, I was trying to lighten the mood so I don't keep crying. [ Sex is worth changing the sheets over, crying absolutely not. ]
Re: Day 460, evening
Re: Day 460, evening
Re: Day 460, evening
Re: Day 460, evening
Re: Day 460, evening
Re: Day 460, evening
Re: Day 460, evening
I suppose to me, everyone must surely be doing their best. And so... thinking that, I find it difficult to truly dislike anyone.
Re: Day 460, evening
You may not think it's anything special to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but I do. It's not just anyone who can give everyone a chance, even someone who's done something as awful as I have. I'll try not to disappoint you. [ It's hard to promise that, so she doesn't. ]
I'm still up for doing this again if you are, but if you need to think about it I understand. [ And assume it's a no, because he's not the only one who assumes people will reject him until proven otherwise. ]
okay here's the real tag I guess
Oh, that won't be necessary.
If you want me, I'm here.
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Good, I'll pester you soon then. [ see, her language about herself sucks too, only her need to be with people edges it out ] If you'd be willing, I sometimes need people to stay with me in my dorm for a night. This place and its stupid rules. When HSS fills up again Doctor can handle that particular burden, but that might be a while. [ lol ]
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I should probably tell you to bring some food for my unitmates, Doodle makes a thing about it. I'll fight him on it if you forget, though. [ She is itching for a fight about that sign, but she'd rather have it over someone who's a little less overly eager to please everyone and would insist it's fine to be treated like a delivery boy. ] You're welcome anytime, by the way, everyone else is really sweet.
But speaking of Doctor, I need to get going. He's buying a memory and I should be there in case it doesn't go well. [ You know, standard couple stuff. ]
Kiss me goodbye, hm? A good one, if you please. [ She absolutely is not sure he knows what "good" means here but even so. ] Then I'll be out of your hair.
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[He's a tech guy not a chef. At her request, he pauses for a second before leaning in to kiss her on the lips, soft and lingering.]
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[ Then she pops up and starts getting dressed. (Yes she can do up her own corsets, and undo them too, but where's the fun in that?) ]
I assume so. The sign says to bring food, not learn to bake. But I didn't make this ridiculous rule.
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As long as there's that. Wouldn't want to disappoint the people with the knife.
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...If you wanted the blanket, ask next time okay? I don't get cold or anything and I don't want you to be uncomfortable. [ It felt weird to show a mass murder without covering up a little but there were other options, she'd rather put the corset back on than have him unhappy. ]
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[He's a noodle with the stamina to match, and even after he dresses himself he'll need to get his neck cleaned up at the very least.]
Don't mind me.
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Can I get you anything before I go? I hope I didn't take too much blood...
[ Her guilt swells until it's nearly suffocating, how could she be so selfish and stupid? When will she learn that the joy she takes in biting is at the expense of others? ]
Tell me what you need. [ Her words are trying to be firm, to make this an order. ]
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Like with the scars, I expect you to tell me if I ever do anything to make you unwell. But -- [ she stands up with enough of a smile to make clear she's not upset ] I'll trust that you'd mention if you needed something. [ Also she's late, oops ]
I'll see you soon then, hm? [ And making her way to the door slowly enough to hear his answer before she vanishes through it, she can let herself out easily enough. ]
(no subject)